I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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