EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
