I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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