I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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