6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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