Umm I'm too high to move.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
