Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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