Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
