i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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