I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
