The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
