Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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