it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
