I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
