walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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