He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
