i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I want to be your penis for a week.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
