so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
