Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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