How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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