just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
