You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
