I think I am morally bankrupt
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
