If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I pour the whiskey from now on
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
