WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
