dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
