Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
