Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
