doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Alive.
So much puke
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I need water and some morals
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
