hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
