Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
