Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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