I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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