We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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