I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
