Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
