i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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