So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
