It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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