thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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