what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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