the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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