I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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