How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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