I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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