The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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