I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
