Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
