I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
