Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
