I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
